I was 7 years old. 

  • Divorce was almost unheard of at the time.  
  • Des Moines, Iowa  Divorce was scandalous
  • My parents got divorced
  • I came home from school one day and my Mom and 2 (of 3) older brothers had left.  They moved 40 minutes away
  • It felt like I had fallen down the proverbial rabbit hole.


The divorce was nasty and the anger and resentment spanned decades; sending ripples of  anxiety, stress, depression and anger into all of our lives. Rather than a safe, happy childhood our experience of family looked very different.

  • Walking on eggshells all the time
  • Needing to keep secrets from each parent about the other
  • Mine fields of topics, phrases, and places
  • Mental preparation to leave one parent to visit the other
  • Mental preparation for holidays, and exhaustion and depression during the holidays
  • Mental and physical preparation for milestone celebrations or how to avoid celebrations altogether (all 4 of us choose not to go to our own high school graduation)
  • Planning for who would be responsible for which parent to try to ensure minimum fallout for celebrations
  • Taking sides – the endless pull to take sides and the resulting guilt for having taken sides
  • The fallout after celebrations for whatever was perceived as an issue
  • Financial strain:  asking for something (Prom Dress, school clothes) and being told the other parent should pay for it,  then being told I pay child support…; 
  •  Guilt for not being able to protect/ help siblings
  • Stress of having to support an emotionally overwrought parent


I made a decision to dedicate my life to “fixing” divorce.   I went to law school, and then spent decades practicing family law in an effort to stop the ripples before they began.  


My Wedding – I took a stand.  I made a choice.  I was done – fed up and exhausted.  This was the turning point (at least outwardly) with my parents’ divorce.  I would not let their issues affect my children or my marriage.  And yet – it still did; because inside I still struggled with all the same emotions.  Those survival mindsets I developed during the divorce were still controlling my emotions, fears, behaviors, decisions and dreams.


50 years after my parents’ divorce I decided to become a life coach.  During my training I went deeply into who I am and what makes me tick.  I developed tools and learned to understand my emotions.  It was during this time of deep reflection and working on myself that I realized just how deep the impact of my parents’ divorce was rooted in my mind.    I had become the ultimate people pleaser.  My life decisions, actions and inactions all  started to make sense.  I could see how being a people pleaser had shaped so much of my life, decisions, the inability to trust myself,  the inability to know what I wanted, and my inability to have a vision or to dream. 

Being a people pleaser also made running a business for profit practically impossible; it also impacted my relationship with money. So I decided to become a money coach and a business coach.   

I have created the path for people pleasers to find their authentic selves, voices and profitable business.  I created the path for myself – and now it gives me great joy to share that path with others.